I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
