is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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