at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
