stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize