Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
