I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
