I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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