i permit you to call me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
