when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
