You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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