i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
