operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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