Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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