You can't motorboat a personality
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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