dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
