walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The air was thick with penises
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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