I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
