Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
