Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
