I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
