I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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