Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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