That's intense
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
no you cant smoke seaweed
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
