People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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