Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
this boner is exhausting
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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