Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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