I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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