You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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