ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
