They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
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