My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
