butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
