the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
