You're completely useless in the revolution.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
