If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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