Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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