I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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