Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
