Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just puked most of my soul out..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
