she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
pray to the hookup gods
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i think i just lost a toe
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
