Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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