there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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