How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
pop tarts are not kleenex
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
