You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
