Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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