I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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