i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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