I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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