So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
