do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
