remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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