when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
